So the dance was not cool...i mean i never ended up going. jason never called me. whatever...it prob. would have been weird anyway. i think i give up?

my moms really sick...i dont know why im writing this though...i really dont like to think about it. i havent told any of my friends. its just a weird subject. no doctor knows what she has. she cant stay awake for more than an hour. she has a swollen gland the size of a baseball on her neck. she has to call off of work and go to the hospital to have bloodwork done...its just really scary.

for the curious type...my name is sabrina mccarthy. i am going to the snowball with a sophmore named jason something(i dont know how to spell his last name) im tired nighty night

Currently Reading The Bluest Eye By Toni Morrison see related

this is the end this story's old but it goes on and on until we disappear calm me and let me taste the salt you breathed while you were underneath i am the one who haunts your dreams of mountains soft below the sea i spoke the words but never gave a thought to what they all could mean i know that this is what you want a funeral keeps both of us apart you know that you are not alone i need you like water in my lungs

but i think im just gonna chill out now...no more crying....i can get over this...ill focus on other things...this friday im goign to the abington snowball...im excited...ive never been to a public school dance before...is it different? im nervous...gahhh!

Currently Playing Through Being Cool By Saves the Day see related

gahhh i made a playlist for my super down mood...sick...a little bit of taking back sunday, some modest mouse, shins, brand new's play crack the sky...that one gets me everytime.......saves the day...memories....you know what....read it:

Saves the day YOU VANDAL!

last night i dreamt you called from costa rica yeah the place youve been the last two weeks said i miss you oh sweet boy will you come on down i woke up to the cold sheets and the smell of new jersey WHEN DO I GET TO WAKE UP TO YOU tonight i cant forget that ive got theses open wounds its such a drag cant forget youve gone my ribs have parted ways they said we're not going to protect this heart you have

whoa hey what can i do? my lungs are breathing open air and my spleen is dripping from my pants

whoa hey what can i do? left me in the cold and I MISS YOU

never told me that it would be this hard i think my bodys saying so. when you arent here its got to know its leaving me but i hope that youre okay EVEN THOUGH IM DYING hope that youre still trying to have a killer time go see the volcanoes go see the rainforests ill be fine by myself yeah ill be fine without these bones

whoa hey what can i do? my lungs are breathing open air and my spleen is dripping down my pants

whoa hey what can i do? youve left me here in the cold and I MISS YOU

Currently Playing Harry Nilsson - Greatest Hits By Harry Nilsson Without you (im sick but sad) see related

i have realized how much i miss him....if youre reading this...im sorry longer...i was wrong...

and i miss you. are you glad im finally gone? im so sorry to hear that. im so sorry. have i hurt you? i have hurt myself...these sad songs wont change a thing. love as fragile as a wineglass it should have been forever...im so sorry, i remember how we kissed, one night as forever

cant remember what went wrong last september though im sure youd remind me if you had to our love was comfortable and broken in

did you think i was doing quite well without you? in the frame, stay.

just because she loves you too she wouldnt ever take a bullet for you dont believe a word she says she wouldnt ever cut her heart out for you...

so i came upon the answers in a note you wrote for me and it was like a song and i was hanging on to a dying melody. so you leave and so you disappear i hope someday i see your face again cause yeah, my dreams are few but they are all of you and you are all of them

and of course....

and the truth
is you could slit my throat
and with my one last gasping breath id apologize
for bleeding on your shirt

i slept in his room while he slept in hers...i was there and he just kissed her in front of me...ive never felt this much pain over someone...how can this be? im so pathetic...im drowning in my own self pity